February 2016 ❤️

Hello everybody, how are you all today? It’s March already! It feels like just yesterday I was reflecting on the month of January. I am so happy for a new month to be here, I feel in a really good place at the moment and now the weather is starting to perk up a little, I sense lots of happiness on the way. For me it seem’s as though February was a month of learning curves and doing what’s best for me, and whilst I didn’t have a Valentine, I learnt a lot about love!

I spent the first week of the month seeing friends and drinking cocktails, pretty standard. I had a really nice evening out at Bella Italia with Emily and we had great conversations, I felt really content that evening and afterwards my parents picked me up and as a family we seemed to get on really well. I feel as though we had a nice evening together that night. I was so happy I even wrote about it for my memory jar.

I also had a lovely evening in with my family one night, we got a Chinese takeaway and sat together at the table as we had our feast. It was really lovely to just sit together at the dinner table and interact with each other, with no telephone distractions. Just great food and great company.

I had a cheeky Nandos date with my sister just before Valentine’s day and it was so much fun! We really bonded and I managed to open up to her and talk about my relationships, which is something I struggle to do. I feel as though this was a great afternoon for us and it definitely bought us closer together.

My parents and I visited my grandparents in February too which was lovely, I do wish I could see them more but at least I got to spend a day with them and my parents got to see them too.

I feel as though my relationship with my family in February wasn’t the best that it could be, due to the stress of not having a proper home, but it’s nice to reflect on the good times as I realise there have been lot’s of good moments. 💕

As I said in my January reflections post, I started off the month right where I wanted to be, with my ex. I was hoping that February would see things turn around for us and we would start seeing each other again, with the intention of getting back together. How things have changed. I’ve finally had the wake up call I needed, I never ever want to see him or speak to him again and I mean that. I am ready to stop living in the past and I couldn’t feel more free. After going on a couple of ‘dates’ with someone else, all my feelings for my ex seemed to vanish and now I’m not sure if they were ever real at all. I think a lot of my feelings were lies, of course I care about my ex but I think I got my wires crossed somewhere along the way. I don’t know what I wanted from him, but deep down I’ve always known he isn’t the one I want to end up with. Despite my feelings vanishing, I continued to talk to my ex as friends because why not? It really didn’t matter anymore, so I wasn’t going to be rude and ignore his texts. Everything was fine until last Sunday night, when I got very very drunk and started an argument with him over text. I will never know what caused me to start on him, other than the drink. I think maybe I wanted it to end so it all came out when I was drunk. I mean I had been taking hours to reply to his messages and he would message me twice until I replied, so I was trying to distance myself anyway. I text him in the morning apologising for the horrible things I said and he just replied saying ‘drink makes us do crazy things’. That’s the last we have spoken, I didn’t bother replying to his message, there is just no need. I’m really not interested in him being a part of my life anymore. I want a future free of him. To know him was a blessing and I wish him all the happiness in the world, but it’s completely over now.

The new guy I went out with a couple of times is alright, I’m not sure if it’s going anywhere but I am grateful that I met him. We met on a night out and thanks to him I have learnt such a lot and grown as a person.
If it wasn’t for him, I would still be crying over my ex thinking I was in love with him but now I am free from that awful ‘relationship’.
I’ve also learnt not to worry so much, if he texts me he texts me but if he doesn’t, I’m not bothered. If things don’t work out between us I trust completely that it’s for the greater good. I’m not going to worry about falling for someone anymore! I’m going to open my heart to love because now I can see that if something doesn’t work out it’s for a reason, something better is on it’s way. I also want to make sure that I’m myself next time I go out with someone that I like. I can be really awkward and nervous but I see now I just need to relax and enjoy myself rather than worrying about what someone thinks of me. I’m also not going to settle for someone for the sake of it, in all honesty I don’t feel a spark between myself and this new guy and even though I would like to get to know him more, I feel like I might just want to continue seeing him for the sake of seeing someone. I’ve always told my friends not to stay with someone because they didn’t want to be lonely, and I’d rather be single now than be with the wrong person. Last but not least, I learnt from this new guy to respect myself and learn to say no! All I’m saying is I think I’ll be introducing a 5 date rule next time I start seeing someone… 🙄

My love life was fairly colourful in February and I feel like I’ve learnt so much and I now have a more carefree attitude when it comes to relationships.

During February, a full time position on the make-up counter opposite my current one came up, at first I wasn’t going to apply for the job out of loyalty to my current company but in the end I decided I had to do whats best for me. My contract right now is only 15 hours which is not enough to live on at all so I took a risk and applied for this full time role and I’m so pleased that I did. I’m so excited to say that I got the job and I will be working full time!! This will be my first ever full time job, I am growing up. ☺️

In my January reflections post I mentioned how I wanted to start practicing ‘the Magic’ more, this is something that I didn’t do as I gave up on around day 5 because I was feeling miserable. I’m not going to focus on ‘the Magic’ this month, instead I am going to read ‘The key to living the law of attraction’ every morning and then move onto ‘The Secret’ and once I get into a better way of living I will then move onto ‘The Magic’.

All I want from March is a carefree and happy month full of love, friendship and happiness. I hope that my relationship with my parents grows stronger and is filled with more love and happiness, and I would like my family to spend more quality time together. I hope that I get the chance to visit my family in Wiltshire and I would love to visit my grandparents too!
I also wish for everything with my new job to go really well and I aim to impress my managers everyday.
I would love to spend lots of time with my friends creating great memories and for it to be a harmonious month for friendship with nothing but love shared. I aim to be the best friend that I can be this month ❤️

I look forward to seeing what this month brings! I wish you all the best for March, thankyou always for reading. Lot’s of love, Jennie ❤️ xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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