Hey guys, I hope you’re all well. 💕 Today I thought it was time to write a little life update, and by life update I mean LOVE life update. If you have read any of my recent blog posts then you most likely know that I have been speaking to my ex again. Well it’s over now, completely. I hope this is the last post I ever write about my ex because I just want him gone from my life for good, all he does is waste my time and he doesn’t deserve my friendship.
So our ‘friendship’ lasted for a month this time which is pretty good for us. Since we ‘finished’ with each other a couple of years ago we have tried being ‘friends’ many times, but it’s only ever lasted around two or three weeks, so this is quite the achievement. I tried really hard this time to make it work and not give into my doubts, because after certain things he said to me I thought things were going to be different to how they normally are. I thought we both wanted the same things. I was so wrong. Actions speak louder than words and what he was saying and what he was doing were two different stories.
Throughout the month we spent speaking to each other, we only met up once. That’s not enough for me, if I’m friends with someone and I speak to them everyday then I expect to see them often. If I speak to someone everyday then it means I like that person a lot, so obviously I want to see them. I eventually realised things were not progressing with my ex how I wanted them to, so I said something. Usually I would just stop responding to his messages but I thought this time I would give him a chance to be real with me and tell me how he felt before I cut him off completely.
I asked him why he never seemed to want to hang out, he said he did want to hang out but he was just too busy with work. I don’t care what anyone says, you’re never too busy for the people you want to make time for. I could be working from 9am till 9pm, but if I wanted to see someone then I would meet them straight from work to spend even just an hour with them. I guess he didn’t want to see me as much as I wanted to see him.
After asking him why he never wanted to hang out, I dived straight in and told him I wanted us to be more than friends. ‘I’m not interested in a relationship’, is what he replied to that one, which is completely fair enough, I’m cool with him not wanting a relationship with me, what I’m not cool with is him leading me on. Telling me in so many words he wanted us to have a family together, which is bizarre considering he doesn’t want a relationship. I’m not sure about you but I’m not down for having a child with someone who is ‘just a friend’. It wasn’t just that either, he made flirty comments and acted in a way in which you don’t act with someone who is just a friend. I will never understand this boy I swear. 😴
At first I wasn’t going to reply to his ‘I’m not interested in a relationship message’ but I did. I told him if he wasn’t interested in a relationship that’s fine, but I also told him to never contact me again. I will always block him yet he will message me off a dodgy website which breaks through the block, this time I asked him to not do that. If he does though, I will be strong and not reply. I just want to move on and be free from him.
It’s a shame because I do care a lot for him and he had the power to make me so happy, but guess what, one day I’ll meet someone who really loves me and who I really love back. My ex was just my first love, not my true love.
So that’s all there is to say on that matter. I’ll smile fondly when I think of the good times my ex and I shared, but I’m going to try hard to close this chapter now and let any fantasies of us being together go. I don’t intend on contacting him ever again, even if it means staying sober on a night out. I really hope he never contacts me again either but if he does he will get no reply from me.
I’m ready for the next chapter of my life now. ☺️☺️
Thankyou for reading this, and thankyou also to everyone who has supported me through this messy situation. Thanks to everyone who has commented on my blog posts about my ex with advice or supportive comments. It means a lot. ☺️ Thankyou! ❤️
Love, Jennie. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx