It feels like my heart is breaking and being ripped in two 😦 I realise I’ve never actually dated a boy who fully wants to commit to me, it’s always ‘I like you but I don’t want a relationship right now’, from the littlest of things to the most extreme “I see myself having kids with you one day, oh, but I’m not looking for anything serious right now”. Oh fuck off, so you want me to wait? You want me to bear your children in a few years down the line, after you’ve played the field and had your cake and eaten it? Honestly, boy bye.
I don’t know what the future holds for August Boy and I (he’s not the one who mentioned children by the way), but all I know is we for sure are not together right now! And it sucks like crazy because I wanna be with him, but I can’t. He wants me now but not forever and I can’t be with someone who doesn’t choose me fully, who doesn’t want to plan a future with me. That’s like saying, you’ll do for now but I can live without you. Nah, I’m worth more than that.
I’d like to remain friends with him because he’s a good guy and I care for him a lot, plus I enjoyed spending time with him so much, but then I enjoyed spending time with him the way we were. It would be different as friends, I wouldn’t be able to kiss him or touch him. We’d be able to hug as friends do but it wouldn’t be the same, and it would just hurt. So I don’t know where we go from here.
So on that note, I guess I’ll just end this blog post with my favourite love quote of all time, the classic Chuck Bass line
”If two people are meant to be together, eventually they’ll find their way back”.
True. Say. ❤️💙❤️🐬