I have never known heartbreak like this, that’s all I can say.
I can’t stop crying, scream crying even and oh my gosh it feels awful. I just want my baby with me here right now but he’s not my baby, and it’s not good for either of us to be together right now. I snuggle my giant Simba teddy and wish with my whole heart it was him.
I hate love, which is crazy of me to say. But why does it have to hurt so much? But then they say if it hurts, it isn’t love, which breaks my heart even more. Because I do love August Boy, don’t I? Or did I? I don’t think I was ever in love with him as such, I couldn’t be when there was so much pain in my heart when it came to our ‘relationship’, but I did love him and care for him deeply. Now I don’t know what I feel. There is nothing I can do.
Maybe fate will bring us back together again, maybe it won’t. Who knows? The future is not mine to see. I hope he’s supposed to be a part of it, I do I do I do. He is the best ever and supports me with every decision I make, he is understanding and patient and trustworthy and oh my God he is so beautiful. I love him. But I am so confused… I hope our stars align again someday, please God please. Bring my baby back to me.
August Boy if you are reading this, because I know you have the link to my blog, I love you I love you I love you.