This is something I’m slowly learning. I’m learning to live with love, rather than what ‘I’ personally think is best for other people. I’m appreciating that the people in my life are on their own paths, just as I am mine and I’m learning to respect that and allowing them to be free to make their own choices and be their own people without putting my input in and telling people ‘how’ to do certain things, or how to be.
Take my ex for example. I always used to moan at him for being blunt with his responses, not messaging me back soon enough, and probably a whole lot more things. Ultimately, he wasn’t providing me with what I needed and deserve in a relationship however, that’s at his own free will to be that way. It’s not his job to love and support me, sure, that’s what I want and deserve in a relationship (as does everyone) but he simply wasn’t at that stage in his life where he could really settle down and commit and that’s fine. It’s his life. Who am I to change him or tell him how to be? I was severely lacking in appreciation for him and instead of focusing on where he went right, I soon turned to putting my attention on all the things I ‘thought’ he was doing wrong. Rather than just letting him be. And that’s not to say I need to accept less than what I deserve in a relationship but rather, if it’s not serving me, to walk away lovingly. Accept that person for who they are but rather than trying to change them which isn’t showing them any appreciation at all and is quite honestly just disrespectful and a waste of energy for both parties, just walking away gracefully and with love. If you love someone, you don’t try to control them and you don’t try to change them. Sure, you want what’s best for them. But you demonstrate that through love and understanding rather than dictatorship and control. Because what is best for them is your love and acceptance.
I can be quite bossy. Being that I’m all about the Law Of Attraction and positivity, sometimes when people close to me go against that (eg family), I can get quite het up and frustrated with it. I’m always trying ‘to teach’ at home rather than just letting people be. I’m learning to lovingly guide them if needed rather than bombarding them with ‘you shouldn’t be saying this, you mustn’t say that’ etc etc. I know it’s only coming from a place of good intention but I still have to accept that my family are on their own paths and their own journeys and I can’t force them to change their mindset or their values. What I can do is appreciate them, and treat them with the love, kindness, acceptance and respect they deserve.
I know there will still be times going forward where I do feel the need to have my input and ‘advise’, but I’m going to try really hard to make sure in these instances that this is coming from a place of love and compassion with truly good intent to help. I can’t predict the path I’m going to take exactly, the loving thing to do is just to let people be, but it’s so frustrating when you only want what’s best for said people. I guess, if they come to me with a problem I can help to lovingly guide them or if I really feel the need to put my input in, I can take a moment to assess the situation and what I’m going to say first before jumping right in but I know there’s still so much more I can do to be accepting of people. And when you’re accepting of people that is something that’s coming from pure love because ultimately, we are all one. And to accept another is to accept love. To accept yourself. Living from a place of love is loving another for exactly who they are, because that’s just pure love. That’s all there is to it.
Accepting others rather than always trying to give your opinion on what they’re doing. Okay, there’s nothing wrong with a chat or a debate or if someone comes to you asking for advice then fine. But if someone tells you ‘oh hey, I’m getting a cab to work today’ and in your head you’re thinking ‘but you could walk to work… and you’re trying to save money and lose weight’, well that’s when I’mma keep hush and just be like ‘okay cool, you do you’. It’s none of my business what they do with their lives, yeah fine, they might be trying to save money but they know this themselves, they don’t need me reminding them and being controlling!!! We help by accepting and loving, and bringing joy to our loved ones world through love and positivity.
It’s all about the balance. And this is definitely a journey I’m going forward with. To love and accept people for who they choose to be, how they choose to live and the decisions they make in their everyday lives. I know there are still going to be times when I try to advise, I’m not saying that from here on out I’m going to be Miss Pure Acceptance and say yes sir no sir three bags full etc etc all the time. But going forward I am trying to be more peaceful, more accepting, more loving… and only intervining with my guidance when I feel I truly have to, and in those instances ensuring my guidance comes from the most compassionate and loving place with the true best intention for the other person. Other than that, I will live by example rather than ‘ruling’ and give people the freedom to express themselves exactly how they are.
This is just another part of my journey… and I’m excited to see where it leads.
Love is acceptance, not control. ❤️
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