Feeling guilty for my mistakes won’t change the fact I’ve made them. I’m wallowing, feeling anxious and, horrible, because I feel guilty. You know, I’m not perfect. I’ve made mistakes and I know that even though I wish I could be perfect, I’m sure I’ll probably make mistakes in the future too. That’s what being human is. I mean, it’s so much more than making mistakes. But as humans, we do make mistakes.
It’s how we learn and grow.
Making a mistake doesn’t make us a bad person. It’s how we deal with them and learn from them that ultimately is what’s important.
I can’t change the past. I can’t rewind time. I can’t ignore the fact that I’m not perfect but I can’t let it break me either.
I’ve made mistakes.
Does it suck? Yes. Because right now the last thing I want to do is to be sitting here feeling guilty, feeling ashamed and wondering what are people going to think of me.
It’s so shit. I’m insecure sometimes. I’m insecure a lot of the time. It’s something I’m working on. I need to focus a little more on me and a lot less on everyone else.
I’ve got to live MY life.
That’s not even the point of this post… these words. I don’t know if I’ll post this or if I’m just writing it for me? I’m writing it for me but also, as a lesson and guidance. Because nobody is alone in this life. You may think you’re the only person suffering with one particular problem, but I’m sure you’re not alone. That’s not to say your problem is any less horrible or painful to you. But you are not alone. So when you’re scared to open up because you wonder, what will people think, or you feel like nobody will understand / support / or care for you, trust me, they will. You have more people in your corner than you know.
I was talking about guilt, which is what prompted this post. Like I said, I feel guilty, and I want to cry because I hate this feeling, but I can’t cry right now because my makeup is fresh and I’m going out to take some photos and visit Tesco, which is apparently the social activity of the week these days. The ‘out out’ trip. The glam trip. The equivalent of a night out now we’re still essentially in lockdown. Though it’s much more relaxed, the clubs still aren’t open yet, so Tesco’s it is. I can’t remember if they play music. I hope they play music. Also, as much as I’m looking forward to the trip, I’m not because I’m going to end up browsing all the books and want to spend my money on them but I’ve already just bought another goodness knows how many books online, but if I see a Milly Johnson novel I’m not sure I’ll be able to resist because I’ve recently read her book ‘My One True North’ which made me fall in love with Milly as an author. Of course, a deeper review is coming on that soon…
Anyway, back to ‘guilt’. Gosh, there’s so many things I want to talk about right now but let’s talk about this first.
As I said, I can’t change the fact I’ve made mistakes. And wallowing here in my own guilt and self pity and fear is not going to help myself or anyone. It really isn’t.
How can I give the best of myself to the world if I’m feeling shit? That’s not to say I shouldn’t feel guilty or whatever or feel bad for my mistakes you know, but ultimately this will help nobody. Right? If I sit here and let myself fall into a deep state of depression because I feel oh so guilty for making a mistake where the hell is that going to lead me? Nowhere, and in turn it won’t help anyone because instead of giving my best self to the world, I’ll be miserable and sad and not releasing my full wonderful potential.
Sure I can be sad and feel bad and have a little cry. But I can’t let guilt consume me. I must learn from my mistakes and do better, be better. And I WILL.
I won’t let my mistakes define me. I will let them nurture me, to encourage me to grow and consistently do and be better everyday. And that’s why I wanted to share this. Because to anybody who may have made a mistake, to anybody who is feeling guilty for simply being HUMAN and not being perfect. It’s okay, okay? Learn from your mistakes, apologise if need be, be open to seeing how you can learn and do and be better. Don’t let your guilt eat you up inside and consume you, because that’s not going to help anybody. And you’ve got to help yourself. The more you help yourself, the more you can help others okay. And don’t we all want to live in a beautiful loving world. Forgive yourself like you’d forgive your friends, your family, your loved ones. Please don’t be so hard on yourself. We are all doing the best we can. And we will continue to strive to be better everyday. It’s okay.
Learn, grow and educate. Do & be better but don’t ever ever hate yourself for your past, or for your mistakes. Envision yourself 5 years from now. Who is that person? Who do you want to be? How do you see yourself in 5 years time? Be that person now, embody that person now. You’ve got this…
Forgive yourself & forgive others.
All my love, Jennie
Ps. I also wanted to talk a little about social media, and how the less time I spend on social media, the happier I am. Everything has its place, and whilst social media is great in moderation, I am more and more drawn to spending time away from my phone. I want to be in the moment, with my loved ones, be in nature and ultimately focus on becoming my best self offline as well as on. It all starts from within. Perhaps I’ll talk about this in another post, perhaps I won’t, time will tell and everything in divine timing… speak soon!
Sidenote: I just uploaded a little Insta post where I talk a little about social media, but I may share a longer one here on the blogosphere at some point… as I said, time will tell hehe!
WATCH: ‘Sacral Chakra Meditation: Forgive Yourself & Others; Cleanse, Clear and Activate Your SACRAL Chakra’ – Leeor Alexandra I cannot recommend this guided meditation more. It’s one of the most releasing and healing meditations I’ve ever experienced and it feels amazing to know it’s always here for me in my time of need. I highly, highly recommend. ❤️